Judith Ann Bernard 's Obituary
Judith Ann Bernard – 83 Years Young
November 4, 1935 – March 23, 2019
The most important woman in my life, my beautiful loving mother, Judy, was born as a living angel in Springfield, Illinois on November 4, 1935. She became an angel beside God in heaven on March 23, 2019 at 6:15 pm at her residence in Miami, Florida. She fought what seemed like a long, and at the same time, a short battle with lung cancer. Long because it was painful to know she was suffering, and short because she was gone too soon, too young. Yes, young, she was 83. I always called her Peter Pan. She never looked her age nor acted it (smiling). This is not your standard obituary. This is the most important and heartbreaking thing I will ever write in my life. I am a daughter who wants to speak from the heart and not a template. My dear mother, you held me when I opened my eyes for the first time and I held you when you closed yours for the last time.
My mother was adopted from The Cradle in Chicago, Illinois by Clarence Wesley Ebling and Viola Pearl (Heath) Ebling who raised her. Her birth parents were Charles and Ana Bennet whom she never knew or met.
Judy was raised in Detroit and Berkley, Michigan later moving to Bal Harbour, Florida with her parents. Judy attended Liggett High School in Grosse Pointe, Michigan and Miss Harris’ School for Girls in Miami, Florida. She attended the University of Miami studying religion as she stated to me “off and on”. In her lifetime her affiliation with religion and her love for God (and all animals) was always “on”. She then resided in South Miami for the remainder of her life.
In high school my mother was a ballerina on toe shoes, and as on the stage as in life, always “on pointe”. She was tall with a slender dancer’s figure. She had beautiful dark hair, gorgeous hazel eyes, with the most adorable smile. I have told her over and over again how cute she is. In her younger years she was an accomplished tennis player, proudly earning several trophies. She loved to ice skate.
She married my father John Richard Bernard, Jr. on May 6th, 1961 at All Saints Church in Detroit, Michigan officiated by Reverend Ralph W. Parks. Two years later on the same date, May 6th, my mother brought me into the world. May 6th was always such a special date. We went to dinner and had a small cake for my parents’ anniversary and one for my birthday. What a special celebration for the three of us. Sadly, ten years later she was divorced. She and her ex-husband have always maintained a very good friendship. My father still sent her flowers for her birthday and Christmas until he suffered a stroke over a year ago. My dad used to call her a beat nick since she always wore flip-flops. She was raised around the well to do, yet rebelled that lifestyle and preferred a more low key, casual existence finding solace on the beach. I called her a beach bunny when she was younger. She always had beautiful skin and a glowing tan anyone would envy. We made many a trip to Matheson Hammock and Crandon Park beaches. After her divorce in 1973, she and I relocated from Lathrup Village, Michigan to South Miami, Florida.
My mother was genuinely a very kind and gentle soul. I always told her “your connection to God is better than mine”. Any time I was concerned; facing a difficult exam, a pet that was sick, etc. she was the one I called and asked to pray with me. Whatever it was I worried about it always seemed to work out. I am convinced it was because she prayed about it. She was a stronghold in her church, St. Matthews Episcopal. She was an usher and Eucharistic Minister (she proudly showed me her card with her name on it). At times my phone would ring and I would hear music in the background. My mother was sharing her church service with me. She wrote a paper in college titled “Why I Believe in God”. She received an A+, no surprise on that one. She also attended Wayside Baptist Church in Miami.
Judy was a member of Bible Study Fellowship for 28 years. I told her she should be teaching it instead of simply attending. My mother had always been involved in bible study at any church she was a member of. She was an active member of the Red Hat Society. When hosting a lunch, she was so proud of the table décor. She proudly wore the red hat I gave her as a gift. She looked beautiful in it. She was a member of and volunteered for the Red Cross. Judy attended Huntington Camp in 1947. My mother enjoyed travel to Europe, sailing Queen Elizabeth in 1953. She was a Girl Scout Troop Leader in 1974-75. Judy spent time on Lake Higgins, Michigan with her parents. After moving to Florida she loved the Keys. We feasted on conch and blue crabs until we burst. She was actively involved with the Cat Network, feeding a stray cat colony twice a week. The cats all knew her, they all ran up to her when her car pulled up. Yes, mom, I will keep feeding them for you. If God is to give my mom a job in heaven, he will ask her to greet all the animals crossing the Rainbow Bridge. She is the best cat mom there ever was. She was loved and adored by her Publix family on 107th Avenue. Everyone, and I mean everyone knew her. When I was little she would cut a sandwich into four pieces, spreading them out a little and called it a “butterfly sandwich”. She made the best BLT’s in the world on soft, squishy bread. To this day I request my BLT’s to not be toasted.
Favorite restaurant by far was Red Lobster. I brought this to her while in hospital. She loved deviled eggs. Favorite candy, Reese’s Peanut Butter cups; favorite color, blue; favorite number, 2; favorite season, fall; favorite soda, Coca-Cola, favorite fast food; Kentucky Fried Chicken (mashed potatoes). Favorite animal, cat! Saint Francis was her favorite. She loved everything when it came to food, although creative cooking was not quite her forte. When I was a teenager, I asked her why we had peas every night. We have had a lifelong joke about peas. She attempted to cook a Maine lobster when first married. The lobster somehow became missing winding up on top of the refrigerator. She got better with the little crustacean later on in life. She made a slipper lobster in shell soup that I absolutely loved. Oh, and let’s not forget those BLT’s. My mother was creative and enjoyed crafts – with an eye for art and an ability to draw. She loved to draw deer and bunnies the most. Bunnies… wow, did she love them. Bunny décor was everywhere; front porch, back porch, inside of course. She loved to display her ceramic Christmas village every year inside her home. In the 70’s she used to collect owls. She loved Country Living magazine and decorated her home in shabby chic with colors of rose and blue. She had the most curious nature. She had a police scanner she listened to and to my surprise, even heard the call when I received a speeding ticket. She became interested in getting a license to operate a ham radio. My mom was quite tech savvy. I introduced her to a pc, with an older CRT monitor. She surprised me by getting a Mac. She became quite adept with her iPad and iPhone and loved to interact with people on Facebook. She always believed everyone should have a cake on their birthday. She would hand deliver a birthday cake to her close friends and neighbors.
Judy was witty, bright and had an adorably flirtatious side. You could always tell when she had a crush on someone. Her eyes would sparkle with a shy, but cute as can be smile. She was fiercely independent and still driving up until her illness. She loved shopping at Target, Michaels and Hobby Lobby. She used to have a butterfly garden she devoted time to on her back deck.
I am going to miss you calling me a hundred times when I am making a long drive wondering where I am and how long it will be until I get there. I hear you in my mind telling me to lock the car door. As I write this it is difficult to concentrate as the phone keeps ringing and the texts keep coming in… they are all from people sharing their condolences and prayers for my beautiful mother, another testament of love from her friends.
My mother had an unwavering faith in God unlike anyone I’ve ever seen before. She knew the Bible intimately, frequently quoting scripture. If you needed comfort, she was the person to go to. She had an energy and enthusiasm for God and life. She was my rock, my best friend, and I called her my sister. Judy Bernard was fun and absolutely loveable. I will love her always.
My mother gave me two of the greatest gifts ever; life and she brought me to God. I used to tell her “I will love you forever, I will always protect you, I will never leave you.” We would say this to each other together over and over again. I repeated this to her as she was taking her final breaths. I whispered in her ear “it’s okay my ballerina, go dance with God.” It was then that she passed.
When you love someone no matter how much you want to do, you always wish to have done more. No matter how much time you have spent with them, you always wish for more. I am beyond appreciative and thankful for all my mother has done for me, for always being there no matter what, for being the best mother in the entire world and how lucky I am she was mine. We always said to each other “I love you… forever and ever and ever…”
This quote always reminds me of my mom: “Cats are like potato chips. You can never have just one.” My mother loved and cherished all animals, however she loved, loved cats. If you knew anything about my mom, you knew this!
If one wishes to make a donation, please consider The Humane Society, The Cat Network, Rabbit Rescue, and of course, towards the American Lung Association.
My mother is survived by her only child and daughter, Pamela Ann DiBernardo, her ex-husband John Richard Bernard, Jr. and her beloved cat “Kitty”. She was preceded in death by her parents, Clarence Wesley and Viola Pearl Ebling.
A celebration of Judy Bernard’s loving spirit and God-fulfilled life will be held as follows:
Visitation: Thursday, March 28, 2019 from 4:00 PM until 8:00 PM
Van Orsdel Kendall Chapel
11220 N. Kendall Dr.
Miami, FL 33176
Service: Friday, March 29, 2019 at 11:00 AM
St. Matthews the Apostle Episcopal Church
Miami FL 33143
Interment: Lakeview and Sashbaw Plains Cemetery
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