Edna M. Szasz

Mom,

Thank you for always being there for me. Life presented its challenges as I grew up, but you always had a smile and made sure I always had everything I needed, sometimes surprising me with what I wanted and knowing when to send stern words my way when I stepped out of line. You endured 31 years without dad, yet you rarely complained and always had a way with keeping up with my life as I moved on despite living alone for many years while sharing your fondness for stories from the past.

I will always be grateful for how you and dad persevered and never faltered in my eyes when I was 6 and had trouble walking. Somehow you both found a way, got me the needed medical attention, shared encouraging words daily, worked tirelessly helping me mend day by day until I got better and moved forward with life.

Growing up I remember helping you in the yard and how you asked me to pull weeds, something I probably did with way too much enthusiasm. I can remember coming into the house many times announcing that I had pulled ALL the weeds in the front yard. I continue this in my own yard, practically daily, and I must say it is very relaxing and satisfying. It’s funny how simple lessons your mother teaches you end up serving you for a lifetime, something only a mom can appreciate.

You would mow the yard often and I remember taking over the task when I was old enough. I know you appreciated the help. I remember one day pushing the mower down the block, in hopes of mowing yards for the neighbors to make money. I know you were a nervous wreck over it, but you let me do it and somehow talked dad into agreement.

I remember how you tended to Grandma’s rose bushes for many years that you had transplanted from their home. You taught me to value and nurture plants, take care of a yard and to appreciate the wildlife that called our yard home.

As I grew up and moved out of the house, I am sure you missed your helper, but you had done your job well, teaching me everything I needed to survive on my own. I remember in your later years, more recently spending time with you, going to the ice cream store or the salon for an occasional haircut. Each outing was a chance for you to share how proud you were of your children to whoever would listen. You always described me as your middle son who had two brothers, one older, one younger and a sister. You would call us your 3 R’s, Ronnie, Raymond and Richard, the "S" standing for Sandy.

I am grateful for being lucky enough to have you as my mom and being able to spend time with you during your last months. I can’t help reflecting on the events and circumstances that brought you and dad together so many years ago, marrying on June 11, 1949 and the life that you both built. It was God’s plan that you were destined to share a life together, build a family and fulfill your roll as my parents, for that I will be forever grateful.

I hope that living with my brother Richard in your later years brought you comfort knowing that family was always close at hand. You endured living 31 years without dad, and I know you missed him dearly. My heart is full knowing that you both are together again in God’s presence. It was hard to see you go as I held your hand and I hope somehow you knew we were all with you as you ascended to heaven. I know we will all see each other again when God call‘s me home.

Love,
Ray

Mom,

I’m not sure I will have the strength to read this out loud at your service. Where do I begin to thank you? Did I tell you I loved you enough? Did I make you proud? Did you understand that we did not want to see you go? Did you know how much you will be missed? Did you know how strong of a woman you are? Did you know you were a good mother, wife, daughter, sister, neighbor, and friend? Many unanswered questions that I can only hope your answer is yes. I do know that you loved Jesus and that you knew you would be with Him “someday.” I remember you sending us off to Sunday School on that funny green school bus, the “jolly green giant.” I still have that Bible I used to carry back then, and the tattered blue butterfly sticker remains on the front cover.

You were there when I took my first breath and I was there when you took your last. Held your hand to the end and prayed for your quick journey home to be with the Lord. Your beautiful hands. I know you did not like how they looked as you got older but to me they were still beautiful. They are a reminder of a life long-lived. So much love was given and shared by those hands. You made meals, baked pies, cakes and cookies, you wiped tears, you bandaged childhood cuts, pushed us in strollers and on swings, you held us close, you comforted us when something hurt, you wrote letters and sent thoughtful cards… all with those loving hands.

Watching you slip away from the woman you used to be has been difficult for all of us and I have dreaded this day that I knew would eventually come. Tried to prepare myself to say goodbye and for my life to continue without you but I still was not ready. You told me the other day that I was your angel and I replied, “no, mom, YOU are my angel.” I was blessed to have been able to spend those final days with you. I am thankful for all the days I could tell you I loved you and you would reply, “I love you, too.” Then the day came that you were unable to reply. I can only hope you could hear us that day and that you knew we were all there with you. We had tried for some time to convince you that you were still home (and not in the hospital) like you always wanted so you could rest easy. I know your friend and neighbor of over 50 years, Lillian, will miss you dearly. She was kind enough to visit you daily and care for you these last couple of years. So thank you Lillian for loving my mom and calling her your adopted sister. You would talk with her, caress her face, call her your “sweetie pie” and baby, pray with her, reminisce about the old days when we were all growing up, and eventually feed her when she could no longer do so on her own. You took time away from your own family to be with her and for that we are forever grateful.

I hope that I’ve made you proud. I will miss you every day but I know we could not be selfish and keep you here with us any longer. Your body grew tired and you longed to be home with Jesus. Each day you remained here with us brought you more pain. We could not bear to watch you in pain any longer. Dad, grandma, grandpa, Aunt Marian and all of your other siblings have been calling out to you and I have witnessed you calling out to them. They were all waiting for you. Kiss and hug them all for me. Rest now in God’s grace, you’re in His loving arms now. I love you and will see you again someday. Please wait for me and meet me there in Heaven when my time has come… I love you mom.

Love,
Sandy